you would pick up someone in the library
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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