You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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