Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
