I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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