This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
