I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
