I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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