I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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