i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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