My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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