I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
