This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
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