My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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