The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
