I want to walk on stilts...naked
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
