Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize