Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
