there's paper in my vomit.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
