there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
