glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
