I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
