since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
