I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
