He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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