There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
