I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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