There is no way he is gay with that hair.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
