I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
