It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
