don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize