I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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