I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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