thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
