yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
