He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize