I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
