Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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