Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
