Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
