feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
