my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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