Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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