i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
