was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
