Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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