Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
