Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
