oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
