I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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