I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
