I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
