Whod you bang
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Someone shattered a urinal.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
