I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize