When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
