WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
