sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize