a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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