Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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