Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
