Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
