The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just want to make out with him forever
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
