help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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