you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
