So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
