sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
